“Excuse me. Can I ask you a question?”
“You can ask me two questions.”
“Alright. Do you think Joe Biden should drop his bid for the presidency?”
“I think Trump should drop his bid for the presidency.”
“Uhmm… that’s not… what about Biden’s age and…”
“Donald Trump is a criminal, a coward, a liar, and an idiot. And those are his best qualities. So I think Trump should drop his bid to be president.”
“Right. I get it. That’s your opinion. But about Biden…”
“Look, you can dress up it however you want, but ultimately the real question is who would make the better president, and in a two-party system, anyone running against Trump becomes the de facto better option. Except maybe Ted Cruz. That’s a tough one. But I would vote for a ham sandwich over Donald Trump. Biden is old and often inarticulate, but we knew that in 2020. The Democratic party should have started planning for this election, and his replacement, on January 21, 2021, just as any mage worth his robes would cast Mordenkainen’s faithful hound when campaigning in dangerous territory. But that didn’t happen. So now there are ogres.”
“What…? Ogres…? Morden-who?”
“If you don’t cast the right spell, you get surrounded by ogres. That’s D&D 101. We didn’t plan ahead, so now we have to piddle around with euphemistic questions about Biden’s age while staring down the barrel of another Trump term and ultimate doom.”
“OK. So I can quote you as ‘Biden should not drop his bid’?”
“Sure. I guess that’s where we are at now…”
“Oh. Oh. I get to ask a second question!”
“Alright.”
“George Clooney just called on Biden to drop out of the race. What do you think about that?”
“Where was he 12 months ago?”
