You put Climate Change in my Mouth

Inside the right-wing rumor fabrication and amplification machine:

“Hey boss. What’s our lead story for the broadcast?”

“A student at a liberal university is suing the city’s emergency responders because, when they were giving him CPR, they forced CO2 into his mouth. And as we know in Biden’s America, CO2 is an evil pollutant that must be destroyed at all costs.”

“Wow. Where did that incident happen?”

“A liberal university.”

“Right. But what city?”

“A liberal one. Like one of those cities that have litter boxes for students who ‘identify’ as cats.”

“I thought that was in Oklahoma.”

“Okay. It was someplace else. The point isn’t the place or the details or the facts. The point is, the demonization of carbon has reached such absurd proportions, these environmental cult radical extremists are victimizing our heroic first responders.”

“Got it. And our second story is that giant wildfire in the Texas panhandle.”

“Geez, if these fires and floods and hurricanes keep going, there won’t be much of a world left. I’m glad I don’t have kids.”

“Um, actually, you do have kids. You just don’t like them.”

“Oh right. That is true.”

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