Two Weeks Is Magic
“We should go to war against Iran.” “We should not go to war with Iran.” “You are being disloyal to Trump.” “No. YOU are being disloyal to Trump.” “OK, so…
Tag: The Braindead Megaphone
Will the presidential knees buckle from the Great Leap Forward?
“I went to Saturday’s Super Trump Tank Parade, and it was awesome. I had a whole bleacher to myself—It was like getting an empty row during a flight. Too bad…
Who Gets Joe Rogan?
“When is Trump giving birth? We need that big beautiful brand-new American Baby.” “You can’t rush a Trump pregnancy. Don’t be like Elon. He got too impatient.” “You’d think that…
It works only if you remember to forget everything
“I am a little worried. We, via our support for the Trump administration, cut funding for mental health services in schools.” “Gotta trim the fat, DOGE the waste, own the…
Thank you, Adelson – can we lose some more?
“Luka is sure doing great in LA.” “Yeah, but it’s California. Points ain’t worth as much in a nanny state with ‘firmitive action.” “Even if that were true, Luka is…
Give him plenty of space on that platform
“I have the flag and pleated bunting delivery for the inauguration platform. Can you sign?” “We are recalibrating the number of flags. We can’t have any too close to the…
Do you dare step into the middle of this?
“We ain’t gonna get along till you learn to meet in the middle.” “So you are saying the left and right in this country need to learn to work together?”…
Now happening in every hotel conference room…
“No matter what you think of Trump‘s social policies, he will everyone in this room rich. That’s why I voted for him—I want to make you rich. You’re welcome.” “But…
The MSG Defense
“A speaker at Trump’s MSG rally said Puerto Rico was a floating island of garbage.” “Sure. But you have to understand the context.” “I doubt that. But, okay, I’ll bite,…
You can’t spell apolitical without political
“I think I’ll vote for Trump.” “Sir? I asked if you want fries with that.” “We’ve been slammed with all this politics stuff for years now, and I am sick…