The MSG Defense
“A speaker at Trump’s MSG rally said Puerto Rico was a floating island of garbage.” “Sure. But you have to understand the context.” “I doubt that. But, okay, I’ll bite,…
[Pithy Quote Goes Here]
“A speaker at Trump’s MSG rally said Puerto Rico was a floating island of garbage.” “Sure. But you have to understand the context.” “I doubt that. But, okay, I’ll bite,…
“I think I’ll vote for Trump.” “Sir? I asked if you want fries with that.” “We’ve been slammed with all this politics stuff for years now, and I am sick…
“You know what else is weird…? I saw a Spirit Halloween store open in August?!?” “They start earlier every year.” “They’ve forgotten the true meaning of Halloween.” “They can’t give…
“I think Kamala will win.” “I think Trump will win.” “Really? How do you think Trump will be able to get more votes than her?” “Whoa whoa whoa. I didn’t…
“Biden’s Gaza policy is such BS. And now, he wants our vote.” “I got two words for him: BOY COTT.” “Hell yeah. We’ll be part of a long line of…
Shifting rationalization of voting for Trump, nuclear proliferation, and security through government bureaucracy.
Semiofficial court transcript between Judge and the EPA during the Sackett v. EPA arguments: Water goes everywhere, eventually. [Actual quote from an actual judge.] Awesome. I’m glad we agree on…
“Whoa. I didn’t hear you come in. Make some noise next time.” “Um, sure. That’s an interesting photo.” “That is [name of latest popular starlet]. She’s modeling a bikini that…
Prep for live broadcast at a right-wing rumor-monger: “Six minutes till live.” “Gary, can I get a quick practice on the end of tonight’s monologue?” “Shoot.” “That’s your right.” “I…
“Woodrow Wilson was a racist.” “We sell baseball cards here, sir.” “You get it. Cards are a testament to history. Like statues. The antifa mobs are out to erase our…