Meet the 2028 GOP Nominee (if we are still doing elections)
“Do you see that some shitty fan heckled a baseball player about his dead mother?” “I did. It was in Chicago. He was heckling Ketel Marte about his mother. Last…
Category: Do you hear voices?
Two Weeks Is Magic
“We should go to war against Iran.” “We should not go to war with Iran.” “You are being disloyal to Trump.” “No. YOU are being disloyal to Trump.” “OK, so…
Trump Rules Pregnancy
“Great news! I heard from a reputable source that Trump is going to birth his great big American baby this Saturday.” “Birth on his birthday. Perfect timing. All part of…
Who Gets Joe Rogan?
“When is Trump giving birth? We need that big beautiful brand-new American Baby.” “You can’t rush a Trump pregnancy. Don’t be like Elon. He got too impatient.” “You’d think that…
It is your patriotic duty to top off
“Trump’s got gas prices down. Another win for us. Them Saudis’ll give him another plane so he can save their economy too.” “We are living in the new Golden Age,…
We’ve never been to Afghania, so why should they come here?
“Trump has saved our big, beautiful America from the plague of Afghans and Cameroonians.” “Afghans? Weren’t we just in that country?” “Nope.” “Cameroonians I understand without question—we don’t want any…
Thank you, Adelson – can we lose some more?
“Luka is sure doing great in LA.” “Yeah, but it’s California. Points ain’t worth as much in a nanny state with ‘firmitive action.” “Even if that were true, Luka is…
One Child Controls Our Future
“—you know what a tyrant is? Somebody who pisses on your shoes and blames you for it.” from The Skin and its Girl. by Sarah Cypher. pg. 49. “Zelensky sure…
The Ball is Hope
“We are on the cusp of another classic deal from Big Daddy himself. And he’s doing it all while pregnant.“ “Yeah, but it seems like Trump’s strategy in ‘deal making’…
Give him plenty of space on that platform
“I have the flag and pleated bunting delivery for the inauguration platform. Can you sign?” “We are recalibrating the number of flags. We can’t have any too close to the…