Give him plenty of space on that platform
“I have the flag and pleated bunting delivery for the inauguration platform. Can you sign?” “We are recalibrating the number of flags. We can’t have any too close to the…
Category: Do you hear voices?
Do you dare step into the middle of this?
“We ain’t gonna get along till you learn to meet in the middle.” “So you are saying the left and right in this country need to learn to work together?”…
Tech Bros Will Save Us … Some of Us … A Few of Us … Maybe One of Us…
“King Elon is coming in, and he’s gonna clean up.” “Yes! There is no one better to lead us! Because he has understanding.” “That’s right! … Understanding of what?” “Understanding…
There has to be a better title than “box fetish,” right?
“I find, as I get older, my appreciation for boxes increases.” “Boxes? You mean like gift boxes?” “No. Standard cardboard. Like the double-corrugated, eight-fold, 14-gauge box you have here. That’s…
When you aren’t thinking, we win
The two-term conundrum in American politics.
What’s even weirder…
“You know what else is weird…? I saw a Spirit Halloween store open in August?!?” “They start earlier every year.” “They’ve forgotten the true meaning of Halloween.” “They can’t give…
Weird is…
“I think Kamala will win.” “I think Trump will win.” “Really? How do you think Trump will be able to get more votes than her?” “Whoa whoa whoa. I didn’t…
At least they aren’t lying about wanting “small government” anymore
“Sorry, I don’t mean to embarrass you, but it looks like you walked outside with a Maxi Pad on your ear.” “Wrong. This is a Freedom Bandage. I wear it…
What is the carrying capacity of his pants?
Ironic punishment for Trump, even though he doesn’t know what that means.
You put Climate Change in my Mouth
CPR is a carbon-causing event.