[Pithy Quote Goes Here]
“I find, as I get older, my appreciation for boxes increases.” “Boxes? You mean like gift boxes?” “No. Standard cardboard. Like the double-corrugated, eight-fold, 14-gauge box you have here. That’s…
The two-term conundrum in American politics.
“You know what else is weird…? I saw a Spirit Halloween store open in August?!?” “They start earlier every year.” “They’ve forgotten the true meaning of Halloween.” “They can’t give…
“I think Kamala will win.” “I think Trump will win.” “Really? How do you think Trump will be able to get more votes than her?” “Whoa whoa whoa. I didn’t…
“Sorry, I don’t mean to embarrass you, but it looks like you walked outside with a Maxi Pad on your ear.” “Wrong. This is a Freedom Bandage. I wear it…
Ironic punishment for Trump, even though he doesn’t know what that means.
CPR is a carbon-causing event.
“We have to boycott paperclips.” “What? Why?” “Word on X is, something about their shape supports the trans agenda.” “Whatever. I’ll put it in the database, which is really filling…
“Whoa. I didn’t hear you come in. Make some noise next time.” “Um, sure. That’s an interesting photo.” “That is [name of latest popular starlet]. She’s modeling a bikini that…
“When is your written driver’s test?” “Tomorrow.” “Be careful, dude. They have questions designed to make you fail.” “What do you mean?” “Answer me this. What do you listen to…