“I think Kamala will win.”
“I think Trump will win.”
“Really? How do you think Trump will be able to get more votes than her?”
“Whoa whoa whoa. I didn’t say anything about him getting more votes. His base has been stubbornly resistant to reason, and I think he will simply be able to eke out enough residual votes in the so-called ‘swing states’ to succeed in the electoral college.”
“Sorry. Could you use the initials EC when you reference that last concept? I lose all motor functions when it is stated in full.”
“Umm, sure. Thing is, all the pundits predicting a Trump victory, whether out of hope or fear, are not predicting he will get more votes, only that he will again be the beneficiary of our outdated and bureaucratic election system. Even the people claiming he ‘won’ the 2020 election aren’t arguing that he got more votes—they are fantasizing that ginger mints are USB drives.”
“Weird has been the keyword in this election, and it is weird how quickly and without protest we shifted our understanding of victory from the one who gets the most votes to the one who can best game the system.”
“Right. Legit journalists aren’t putting asterisks next to their Trump victory predictions. Or explaining how there are just enough people plagued with ignorance, hatred, anger, apathy, or some mix thereof to create successful coalitions in the electoral college… oh… sorry.”
“Great. Now I have to crawl home and change my pants. Again.”
