“I went to Saturday’s Super Trump Tank Parade, and it was awesome. I had a whole bleacher to myself—It was like getting an empty row during a flight. Too bad more people couldn’t attend.”
“Was it the rain?”
“No, they had to keep the stands clear in case of excessive afterbirth. They wanted people out of the splash zone, if Trump decided to deliver.”
“But he didn’t deliver. He looks way past the nine-month mark now. Why is he holding on to his pregnancy?”
“We have to trust the process.”
“What’s the process?”
“It’s part of the master plan.”
“Great. What’s the plan?”
“To be ready for America’s Great Leap Forward.”
“But if Trump is still pregnant, how can he jump? He is massively gravid, and he has bone spurs, bad knees, and no sense of balance.”
“You must be looking at the wrong person. Trump is more fit, svelte, and thin than ever before. Pregnancy looks good on him.”
“Errr… sure. But he can’t hold in his pregnancy indefinitely, right?”
“Anything is possible with Trump. Besides, we don’t our big beautiful American child to come out with all these crazy Marxists running around.”
“Oh yeah, all those leftists whining about a king when we don’t have a king in a protest funded by Soros that didn’t get anything accomplished like leftists always do.”
“And when the loony left didn’t get their way, they killed some people in Minnesota.”
“I thought that happened before the protests? And the guy targeted Democrats…”
“No, remember: he was a Marxist, and he worked with Minnesota Democrats, and he was in Tim Walz’s book club.”
“Oh yeah. Right. But if we want to get the best headlines, we should say that he was Tim Walz’s secret gay lover.”
“Need more time to pass before we use that one again.”
“I guess. But you have to wonder, how many more of our right-wing brothers will be willing to enact violence on our enemies if afterward we make up all these lies about them?”
“It’s a sacrifice we all have to make.”
