“We want, nay, NEED a second term for Trump.”
“No, what we need is a second first term for Trump.”
“Huh? That’s what I said…”
“Not really. Look, I know it’s not something we normally do, but I’ve been thinking. In Trump’s first first term, he sent the airports into chaos with his travel ban, he created multigenerational trauma with a child-separation policy, he propped up racists and hate groups, he adopted a policy of appeasement to the Taliban, he was Putin’s little bitch, and I haven’t even gotten to COVID mismanagement and the collapse of public trust and the economy.”
“You’re nothing but a stinking, fake-news liberal…”
“Give it a rest, will ya. We both have stock in Exxon. All I’m saying, all that happened, and he still got 72 million people to vote for him. And they are voting for him again, despite his attempted coup. There can’t be that many illiterates in this country. So I start to look at other presidents. When Baby Bush was up for reelection, we were already in a ditch with Iraq before his reelection, but we didn’t have to disown him until his second term.”
“When Nancy Pelosi caused the levees to break.”
“Sure. And we won’t discuss Nixon’s second term. On the other hand, Papa Bush still maintains a modicum of respectability. And just yesterday, I heard someone praise Gerald Ford for his even-handedness. See, the second term is the public’s poison pill for Republicans. If we stick around for those second four years, that’s when everyone finally realizes how bad things really are…”
“Shut your mouth, you woke commie…”
“C’mon, dude, we’re not on Fox. This conversation never leaves the Grove.”
“Sorry. That’s just mouth muscle memory.”
“I get it. I understand more than most the mental toll when you have to advocate for human garbage. And we’ve got Trump and Ted Cruz in the same year. Not many people can handle that amount of logical dissonance.”
“Wait! What about Reagan? Huh?!? He had two terms and is universally accepted as the bestest president in the whole world.”
“Don’t believe everything Dennis Quaid tells you. In between my public shouting, I’ve heard grumblings about Reagan. For starters, he supercharged politicization of the environment. His first term came at an inflection point. If he had promoted an ‘all of the above’ energy strategy, just the power of Ronnie doing that could have accelerated our development and usage of alternate energy and started reduction of carbon emissions without any impact on our overall economy. We are trying to do that now, except after 40-plus years of partisanship coupled with unrelenting extraction and emission, we are ‘all-of-the-aboving’ ourselves to death.”
“Now you’re speaking nonsense. Weather just happens.”
“I know. I am only the messenger here. Reagan is a two-termer, so people are going to realize how bad he really was, no matter how many movies we make. So really, we were lucky Trump got cheated out of his second term. We don’t have to defend anything he did, since that’s in the past, and we can complain about election fraud the whole time a Dem administration tries to get the country out of a ditch. That’s why the pattern is reversed for Democrats. One termers are reviled because they spend their first term stopping the shitshow. Like Biden.”
“Biden is worse than Carter. He invented inflation.”
“You got it. See, we both agree that Biden, Obama, Clinton, and Carter are all bad. But for the public, the Democrat one termers are shorthand for failure. And now that Biden is officially a one termer, we can harvest that pattern for another successful Trump term. But only if it is another first term.”
“With a fresh Trump first term, we can tear down government functions, end taxes, close all departments that mention climate change, and stop the nanny state.”
“You got it, And whatever happens, someone else, someone with a big D after their name [chuckles|, has to come in to clean up afterward.”
